Chapter 1, Real Dreams
Every psychological issue has its roots; there is a cause for every effect. In my view, her cause is the impact of Luo Hua's death, which has led her to become immersed in memories of the past, even giving rise to numerous fantasies. If that is the case, her psychological issues are quite serious
I asked: "What happened next?"
She nodded slightly: "Yes, I know you suspect that there is something wrong with my mind, but I can assure you with certainty that there is not, truly not, I am not ill, all my feelings are genuinely real."
At that time, she had a student who was extremely distressed due to a breakup. She brought the student to me for psychological counseling, and as we interacted more, we became familiar with each other. I became friends with the couple, but they always referred to me as Dr. Pan.
She said, "On that day, their people were supposed to personally deliver the items at three o'clock in the afternoon. I was waiting at home, and from two o'clock, I kept checking the time. I finally managed to endure until three o'clock. At exactly three o'clock, I heard a knock on the door. I went over to open the door, and then I lost all consciousness. When I woke up, it was already four thirty. I had been in a deep sleep for an hour and a half. The door at home was closed, and everything was as usual; there was nothing unusual, just an added feeling." The door at home was closed, and everything was as usual; there was nothing unusual, just an added feeling.
I believe that for the past half month, whenever she closes her eyes, she will think of Luo Hua, and her dreams should also be related to Luo Hua
She nodded slightly: "Yes, indeed, and it feels particularly real, as if he is still alive. He can even communicate with me; we have talked a lot these days"
I arrived a long time ago and have been sitting in the chair across from her for almost one minute; she simply has not noticed.
However, she felt very guilty. She said that if she had gone with hetushu.com that day, Luohua would not have driven fast with her by his side, and the accident would not have happened, and he would not have died
She is very eager to find that medical institution to seek clarification, as she wants to know exactly what experiment Luohua participated in. She is even contemplating whether Luohua's death is related to this experiment, whether they did something to Luohua, or if they used some medication that led to Luohua's traffic accident
However, the other party stated that they would arrange for someone to deliver it to her door, asking her to patiently wait at home
When Wen Hui received this call, she was somewhat excited; the medical institution that she had been searching for over the past three days had suddenly appeared, and they even claimed that Luo Hua had left something for her there
She shook her head: "I know what you are thinking, you want me to slowly forget him, you are afraid that I will live in the shadow of the past. But the truth is not like that, I am doing very well now, really well, and..."
She is not my patient; she is a teacher at the Normal University, while I am a psychologist with my own clinic. Additionally, I serve as a psychological counselor at the Normal University, providing targeted psychological guidance to some students on a regular basis. Of course, my role as a psychological counselor is voluntary, and I do not receive any compensation from the school; it can be considered as fulfilling a social responsibility.
I do not know why, her words did not bring me any comfort; on the contrary, they gave rise to an inexplicable feeling within me
Are you alright? I asked softly
It is somewhat reassuring that she is still able to remember such details
She smiled wryly and said, "I haven't been to work at all in the past half month; I've spent most of my time at home"
They have been married for five years, and during these five years, they have hardly been apart. In her own words, they have always been inseparable, like a scale and its weights.
However, no matter how she inquired, she was unable to find this medical institution, as if it did not exist at all
I know that during this period, her mood must be quite poor. She is deeply saddened by Luo Hua's death, as they had a very close relationship. For a long time, she may remain immersed in this sorrow, and it will not be easy for her to move on.
On the day of the incident involving Luo Hua, she was originally supposed to accompany him; however, a minor issue arose at work that required her attention, allowing her to narrowly escape a disaster
Compared to half a month ago, she appears much more haggard, her complexion pale, with almost no trace of color.
You should take a leave and go outside to relax your mind
What does it feel like
Lohua was her husband, who died in a traffic accident
I was slightly taken aback. To be honest, I do not believe in anything related to the soul. I am a psychologist, a thorough atheist.
At this moment, I also faintly became interested in the dream she mentioned. There is one point she is correct about: if it were merely a dream, it would not be so vivid, and she certainly would not be able to remember so many details from it. Especially the part she mentioned, where Luo Hua was actually able to converse, interact, and communicate with her in the dream; such a near-real existence should not logically appear in a dream.
I asked her: "Is it in a dream?"
I understand her feelings. The death of Luo Hua has already made her feel very wronged and guilty. Now that she has discovered the secret between Luo Hua and this medical institution, she begins to attribute Luo Hua's death to this medical institution, which alleviates her sense of guilt somewhat
Dr. Pan, to be honest, I feel much better now. It's just that when I think of him, I no longer feel that sadness. Perhaps it is because during this period of time, we always meet in our dreams. I feel that he has not left; he has always been with me.
Two days later, she received a mysterious phone call. On the line was a man's voice, very magnetic. He informed Wen Hui that he was the head of the Future Hospital organization and that Luo Hua had left something behind with them before his passing. They hoped to return it to Wen Hui in person.
I raised my head to look at her: "Wen Hui, listen to my advice, you can no longer stay at home, go out for a walk, anywhere will do."
At this point, she paused, pursing her lips, as if contemplating whether she should express the words that followed
Doctor Pan, what is the matter with you
Most of the time, I stay at home, she replied
I have been feeling fatigued lately and often dreaming
Her words sent a chill down my spine, yet I felt as if I had grasped something: "This feeling was not present before; in other words, the reason you are able to sense Luo Hua's existence, and even communicate with him, is because of this matter, correct?"
However, she continued, "After Luo Hua's funeral, while I was sorting through his belongings, I discovered an envelope. Out of curiosity, I opened it, and it was from a medical institution called Future, thanking Luo Hua for becoming their experimental volunteer. At that moment, I was stunned. There were no secrets between Luo Hua and me; this was something everyone knew. Yet, I had no idea he had volunteered for an experiment. You cannot imagine the feelings I had at that time. Why did he keep such a thing from me? And what kind of experiment was he involved in?"
Only then did she widen her eyes, and upon seeing me, her expression became somewhat excited: "Doctor Pan, www.hetushu.com.com, you have come?"
Staying at home is not an option; one must go out
I knew you wouldn't believe it," she said dejectedly when she saw that I had no reaction
I did not pursue the matter further, picking up the coffee cup on the table and taking a sip. The black coffee, without milk or sugar, is the flavor I enjoy.
I furrowed my brow; her demeanor is certainly not a good omen. One cannot live forever in the memories of the past. What will be the outcome if this continues? As a psychologist, I understand this better than anyone.
However, one cannot rule out external stimuli. At this moment, her psychological state is quite fragile, and if she were to be subjected to external stimuli to a certain extent, it could potentially act as a catalyst for the emergence of psychological issues.
"What I said is true, he indeed told me this." She became somewhat anxious
Doctor Pan, do you believe that a soul exists after death?
I know that 'Future' means the future, but I truly know nothing about this medical institution.
I forced a smile; does this mean she is open-minded or closed-minded?
Wen Hui leaned against the sofa, squinting her eyes as if she were asleep
Yet, when she said these things, she was so serious, as if it were truly the case
After searching for three days, she gave up
I gasped in shock; she must have seen a ghost
He has returned, I can feel that Luo Hua is back, right beside me. I just cannot see him, but I can sense his presence
She asked the other party to tell her the address so that she could go and pick it up
I do not agree with her staying at home, as it holds too many memories of her and Luo Hua; being at home will only make her miss Luo Hua even more
A few days ago, he told me that he has not truly died, that his soul still exists, and that he will always protect and accompany me. He also mentioned that one day he might be reborn in another form and reappear before me. He said that if such a day were to come, I should not be afraid or surprised, as he would merely have changed his vessel.
I asked her where that letter was sent from, and she said it was local, but there was no address on the envelope
She raised her hand and gently brushed a strand of hair from her forehead: "In fact, I am also afraid, but they insisted on delivering it to my home, and they specifically stated that no one else could be present, not even my relatives or friends. To understand what was really going on, I had no choice but to agree. I thought to myself, if they are bad people, at most they would just rob me of some belongings; the worst-case scenario would be that they kill me. After all, Luo Hua is no longer here. If they really do kill me, then I would be able to accompany Luo Hua, so he wouldn't be too lonely."
"So you are just waiting at home alone? Don't you have any sense of vigilance?" I asked.
"Are you able to dream of him every day?" I asked
I took a deep breath; if this is the case, then I must find a way to persuade her to accept psychological treatment
Your condition is not good
I want to know what exactly has happened to her; is this situation a result of her own changes or is it based on external factors
Have you been staying at home for the past ten days or so? I asked her
She is somewhat conflicted: "It feels like a dream, yet it doesn't quite seem like one. In fact, I invited you here today to clarify whether I am dreaming or not. If it were a dream, it wouldn't be so vivid at all"
I sighed and said: "Wenhui, I know about the feelings between you and Luohua, but a person cannot be brought back to life. Your future path is still long, and you must not confine yourself to the memories of the past. You have to let go; I believe Luohua would not want to see you like this now."